story - part 34 - promise - 1003 words

Neither of them knows what exactly to think of the story. Tumaire sits perched on the edge of my new bed, staring at me with wide, shocked eyes; Calidris is in the chair in the corner, looking away, out the window at the world outside, her lips pressed into a pinched line. I believe I am the only one who feels sorry for Altair Two-Crescent, who pities her for her losses and for her failures. I do not voice this feeling.

Instead, wearily, I settle down to sit beside the young Prince, pulling a hand through my hair to tug free its tie, to let it fall loose about my neck. My temples throb and my back aches, there is a dull pounded in my heart. I would like to sleep, even if the dreams will come, and she will haunt me.

"It is believed that she is the one who curse your mother, the Queen, who kept her from giving birth. I do not know if this holds any truth or if it is merely another fairy tale, something said to scare children at night. Be good, or she will come to get you. Do not speak up, or you could end up like her." I cannot help the sarcasm and the frustration I feel at the words, I cannot keep it out of my voice. I want to protect her and defend her actions, no matter how wrong they are and how much she has hurt me. She is still my mother, and I love her, if no one else does.

"She is still out there, somewhere, I believe. I can feel it. And now she likely knows where I am, she will come looking." Equal parts fear and hope, some fluttering in my heart. The past decade has been plagued by the fact that she never hunted me down, that she never wanted me enough to drag me back. It is sick and twisted, but I have missed her sharp glances and sharper words, I crave her touch.

"That is why they think that I want to kill you, Tumaire. I am her creation, her child, and no matter how harmless I may seem, they believe I will turn out like her. They have never given me the benefit of the doubt, either." Sorrow creeping into my tone, my heart still pounding. I want them out of my rooms, now, I want some privacy to work out my thoughts, but I cannot bring myself to voice the desire. I merely let the uncomfortable silence kick in.

The only sound is a soft rustle as the Prince shifts in a place, a soft sigh escaping between Calidris's lips. Something about her expression, the sad tilt to her eyes and the set of her jaw, gives me the impression that she might understand me, if I explained in detail. She understands that craving for power, perhaps the loneliness. If I tried to put my feelings into words, would her eyes go hurt and sympathetic, or would she leave me, would she be disgusted?

I finally cannot take it any more, I wave wearily toward the door, trying to get them out and away. I have not slept well in days, a week, and I have not had time only for myself in longer than that. I crave this night of solitude, look forward to sleeping in the morning. I want to take advantage of this one last day before lessons kick in, and the time when I must join them in court, put myself on display.

"I am going to sleep, so I would appreciate it if you would both leave." Not the order of a prince, but something soft and timid, monotonous. It is not quite polite, but neither is it the command it should be. It is somewhere in between, as I have always been.

Tumaire, for a second, looks like he is going to argue or put me in my in my place - but then a dark flush settles across his cheeks and he nods his understanding, rising and crossing quickly toward the door. A quiet farewell escapes between his teeth as he slips out into the hall and leaves us be. He does not linger, perhaps he is uncomfortable with me now that he knows. Or he, too, might need some time to work it out.

It is another long moment before Calidris brings her head around to watch me, to take in the stoop of my shoulders and the bow of my head. I believe she can sense the sorrow and the pity and the desire. She is beautiful and kind, I am becoming more and more aware of just how infatuated I am with her.

She drags herself slowly and elegantly out of her chair, crossing to stand in front of me. Warm fingers settle against my jaw, dragging me face up toward hers, to meet her eyes. There is a gentle, timid smile on her lips, something meant to console. She wants to ease away that pain, but does not know how.

The gentle kiss she presses against my lips, a sweet and timid gesture, is a glorious start. The slow caress of fingers through my hair, against the nape of my neck, is even better. She drags in closer, arms slowly wrapping about me, a loose and gentle embrace. I can smell her hair, I let my hands smooth across her waist and settle against the small of her back, savoring this moment of warmth. If nothing else, I can store it away as a happy memory, something to look forward to.

"I live just down the hall. Do not forget that." A soft murmur in my ear. It is almost a promise, she is giving me something - an offer for more comfort, for more of this warmth and this tight embrace. Then she is slipping away, smiling and slipping out through the door, leaving me to the solitude that I asked for.