story - part 32 - diplomacy - 1125 words

Tumaire is waiting in the hall way for us to come out. There is something bright and cheerful, excited about him. He can hardly stand still, he flashes a bright smile to us as we step out of the conference room, looks prepared to say something - but it splutters out into silence as he glances down to our entwined hands, our own contented half-smiles. Disappointment slips into his eyes and he looks away for a moment, down the hall, plotting escape.

"I just...um. Rallus was going to...to show you to your new room, but I said I would do it." Stumbling over the words, shifting uncomfortably in place. There is a hint of a flush creeping over his cheeks, something embarrassed and upset. He will not look me in the eye.

He can fidget all he likes, he can make it painfully clear that the contact between Calidris and myself makes him uneasy. I am not about to pull away for his sake, I will not let go of her merely because some young boy does not like to see us together. But her hand slowly slips out of mine, leaves a cold vacuum in its place. She is kinder than I am.

"That is very good, my Prince. I know that the room is near my own, but I am not sure exactly which one it is." Not quite so soft and warm, now. That edge of haughty noble, something proper and official, has slipped back into her voice and into her shoulders. She is not as open. I wish I could have her alone and sweetly smiling again.

He not quite so timid, so hopeful and shy, with her. Something hard comes into his eyes, echoing her noble edge as he nods curtly in direction. Clicking into motion, he starts down the hall and we follow after him obediently, no longer touching or even looking each other in the eye.

It is slowly becoming obvious that he is jealous of her, and the fact that I spend time with her. I wonder how I could have missed this before. His head has dropped, slightly, he looks downtrodden and abandoned, still fighting with some kind of hatred toward her. He is being irrational, and he knows it, but all the same he wants me to belong to him again.

A hand on her arm urges Calidris to stay back, and she nods her understanding. I move delicately to fall into step with the prince, matching his pace and blinking down at the set of his jaw, his tense posture. I should ask him what is wrong and offer some kind of consolation or apology, but cannot figure out how to do so. I know what the problem is [though I do not know why he craves that power over me so much] and I will not apologize for what little happiness I can win.

"I wanted to catch you alone, kind of." Fidgety again, risking a glance up to my face. A crooked smile touches his lips, arms fold tightly across his stomach, he struggles with words and feelings. He has never had to express himself carefully before, he is not sure how to explain without being direct, blunt. This is one of his first lessons in real world diplomacy.

"Because, um. I like you, you do not treat me quite like some stupid kid, and you...you do not skirt around my emotions." Working his way toward something. His eyes flash across my face, and I try to school my features into something calm and reassuring. I fear that it comes out flat and cold, the indifferent expression I have so carefully cultivated.

"I mean, and we are brothers, now. Or we were always brothers, but now I know, and I want to know more. Except that, for some reason, they think that you are going to kill me, so I can never catch you alone." Rushing out, words falling over each other. He has come full circle, expressed some confusing opinion, it is half a question. And he blinks up at me expectantly, waiting for a response, for some matching feeling.

I do not know how to respond. Years of learning how to hide from people, how to fade out of notice, and nothing to teach me how to react when they come to me for advice. Baffled and confused, I blink back toward Calidris, but she is distracted, as well, staring off down the hall, swept up in her thoughts.

"Rav...Corbett. Corbett, why do they think you are going to kill me?" Soft and subtle, his head coming up and eyes locking on mine, something wide and concerned about them. He rubs at his arms, at the junction of neck and shoulder, trying to sooth away some long ache. He looks small and afraid and alone, all he wants are some answers.

"It is because of my mother." Soft and rumbling. It sticks awkwardly in my throat, comes out roughened and confused. I can give him answers - I have to, even if they make me twitch, even if I will have dreams of them afterward. I cannot keep them secret from him, he will find out from someone, and I would rather he could hear the full story and the true story.

"Who is she? No one will tell me, they all dance around her name and...and keep it hushed like some great and important secret." At least his voice is shifting toward frustration, now, it is no longer that pitiful little murmur. He wants answers, he does not want to be left out of the loop, he hates the fact that he is being protected from all this information.

I let him wonder, for a moment, the words hanging in the air unanswered. I run fingers across my forehead, up over my hair, and look back to Calidris again. This time, she lifts her head and blinks her eyes, expression goes questioning and concerned. She has not been paying attention, she cannot come to my rescue.

"I will tell you all about her, once we are in my rooms." Escaping as a sigh. It comes out weary and frustrated, gritty. This has been a long day, a long week, and I suspect it is not going to get much better. It seems that everything has conspired against me, a careful tower of plots has come crashing down on my head.

At the promise of an explanation, a light comes to his eyes, and he moves more quickly through winding hallways. There is a muted excitement about him, something barely restrained. And I dig up old memories, putting them in order as I trail after him.